(Originally written 05.06.12)
I cannot say great things about my emotional state today. It took an abrupt turn for the worst this morning. Early. Morning. I spent the day yesterday completing the nursery. It was tiresome yet rewarding. I'm pleased with the outcome; however, the realization that I have to take pictures in this nursery later today is tearing me apart. I feel so selfish and vain for not wanting to do this! On the other hand, I'm fearful I will regret it later if I don't - I have very few pictures to chronicle this special time. So, here I sit with eyes welling up and tears running down my face. I'm exhausted...emotionally. Praying for a change for the better.
I'm so stinking confused, burdened, tired, lonely. I'm sick of Bell's. Why won't it go away? Why can't I have some small sign of recovery? Am I destined to be afflicted by this "full force" forever? When is my break? At what point does this two year stint of "crap slinging" at me from every direction end? At what point may I drop the positive attitude facade I should receive an Emmy for? I'm not usually so woe is me. But, you know what...this sucks...no matter how you slice it. I am ready for a change already! Blech. Blah. Bah Humbug.
-Belle Story
No comments:
Post a Comment